Monday, September 21, 2015

Turned on. Tuned out. (#PoetryMonday *)

People don’t like poetry anymore.
It doesn't make sense, they say.
It tends to bore.
The "device" is a much better source
for entertainment and news
and reality and views about life.

Wisdom and insight?
Facebook friends, of course.
Or possibly Twitter for the latest trends
about anything at all that’s important.
What color is that dress?

And thinking deeply is so, you know,
old fashioned.
Don’t think, just do! Be free! Run fast!
Move on to the next big thing!
A crowd-sourced life is your best life now!

There’s just no point
to sitting still, quietly, alone reading
stupid poetry. Let alone
thinking your own thoughts.
We've all got better things to do
and better places to be.
Books and writing and periodic rhyming
Are for the fogies
who are all already slowly dying.
We don’t want to be like them,
baby.

Boom!
          Let's go!

Where?
          Why?

Don't ask.
Just fly before you die.
Who cares where you land?
You can Instagram it when you do!

Like!






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* It's PoMo! To learn about PoMo (POetry MOnday), click here and then scroll down. 

Technology is a good thing except when it isn
’t. Poetry is great except when it’s boring. And Timothy Leary was a little, well, off. But is all our rushing about a little akin to being high? Drugged. Addled? Is that boring poem really boring or are we just to focused on Instagramming our sandwich too really notice? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

This poem is included in this collection:

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Hate comes far more naturally than we want to believe

Memes are fun and cute and sometimes inspirational or humorous. However, they seldom present sound theological concepts. Although many are taken as such by unsuspecting believers who glibly share them.

For example, I’ve seen this one in various forms, all with essentially the same message:




Awwww. Isn’t that just so sweet? Yes it is.

But is it really true? No, not exactly.

I think this meme possibly came about as a corruption of a quote attributed to Nelson Mandela about racism: “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

With the added context that is clearly too much for a simple pithy meme, Mandela’s quote comes closer to being accurate, but is still off. Love does not come more “naturally” than hate.

Or maybe the meme developed from over-stretching the truth that children are born innocent, meaning sinless in the sense of not having committed an act of sin (which is different than being impacted by original sin).

It’s a nice sounding “truism that’s really more of “truthiness-ism” that children love “naturally” and have to be taught to hate.

We like this idea because it means we – all of us – are therefore “naturally” loving. In other words, we come into this world basically “good.” Innocent is not the same as good.

This is the popular myth we attribute to ourselves; that we’re all born good.

But we’re not! Well, not precisely.

This wrong idea even shows up in the courtroom as reported in a recent Philadelphia Inquirer article: “’The grand jury report is riddled with emotionally charged language and pejoratives which demonstrate the hostility of the jurors toward Mr. McCauley,"’[Bristol Township's manager William] McCauley's filing said. ‘Hostility does not spring from the air; like hate, it needs to be taught.’” (Emphasis added.]

Well, unfortunately, yes, hostility does, in a manner of speaking, “spring from the air” without being taught.

The reality is that we are born with both the innate ability for hate and love.

Because we are created in the image of God, we are capable of love.  But the full potential of that love remains mostly dormant within us until kindled by a redemptive relationship with God through Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Because all creation – which includes us – is tainted by sin because of the Fall (original sin), we are “naturally” capable of hate.

In fact, our inherent original sin nature is more active in us than potential goodness until we have an encounter with Jesus and our relationship with God is restored.

Until that happens, our natural badness tends to get the best of any mostly dormant goodness in us.

All we need to do is read the biblical story of Cain and Abel to see the truth in this. Or, just look at toddlers warring over a toy. Or endure election cycles.

Actually, if we are truly honest, all we have to do is search our own motives, examine our own thoughts, and review our own behaviors to see the evil that lurks in our deceitful hearts and too often trips us up.

Even the best of people can be really, really bad in a New York minute. In fact, many “good” behaviors are actually driven by “bad” motives.

When we’re honest with ourselves, we must admit that bad and hate come easy. Loving is more challenging.

What is learned, and the skill that needs to be nurtured, is how to be loving rather than to be hateful.

We need to be taught as children and we need to actively train ourselves as adults to choose moment-by-moment to be loving.

Kids can be corrected and taught to love instead of falling back on hate. We, as mature adults, can choose to be more loving than hateful.

Sadly, because of the dire and pervasive effects of original sin, it tends to be easier for us to hate, to be selfish, to lie, to cheat, to steal, to insult, to demean, to be angry, to do and be all manner of unloving things, than it is to love. Especially when it comes to others.

There are countless examples – just pay attention to the news – of kids and adults who were taught to be loving who chose hate which resulted in the most heinous of actions. They chose what came “natural” to them.

Really, without the empowering of the Holy Spirit, true loving is practically impossible. Especially to sustain over the long haul.

The bottom line is this: Left untaught one way or the other, kids will be hateful all on their own. That’s their and our naturally born state.

But through Christ, this can all be changed. It all comes down to making a choice.



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Do you believe you were born good? Why or why not? Do you agree or disagree with the point of the post? Why? Do you want to know more about choosing Christ? Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Managing our emotions with godly truth: Event, Thought, Emotion, Behavior (ETEB) - with a musical interlude at the end...

I often hear people, in an effort to excuse an outburst, claim they can’t control their emotions. Or if they’ve gotten themselves into a questionable relationship, they throw their hands up and exclaim, “I can’t help who I fall in love with!”
  1. First, while it’s true you can’t control emotions, you can manage how you respond while you are experiencing them. Responding thoughtfully while emotional can lead your emotions in a different, rational direction.
     
  2. Second, it’s also true that an emotional attraction to another can strike on a whim, we have full control over whether or not we choose to act on that attraction and “fall” in love. In fact, we can choose to be in love with someone even when we don’t feel loving toward them.
Some years ago I ghostwrote a book titled Preparing for Battle: A Spiritual Warfare Workbook (1999, Moody Publishers), authored by Mark Bubeck. It’s still in print and if you’re interested in the topic, you should get a copy. The book is excellent for small group study or for use in Sunday school classes. It’s also now available in an eBook format. Click here to preview more from the book online.

The book incorporates excerpts from Bubeck’s books around which I wrote extensive commentary, tying the concepts together and creating questions and tables, etc. for a nifty little study guide.
TRIVIA: I also created graphics for the book which I thought would be redone “professionally” by their designers. Much to my surprise, they used exactly what I sent them! I didn’t discover this until the book was in print, otherwise I would have put more effort into them.
There’s one section I created for the book and have since pulled together into a Word document to share with several people over the years. It discusses a concept – ETEB – that, when I first discovered it a couple of decades ago, really helped understand how to effectively manage my emotions.

The ETEB model is simple yet profound. I first encountered it in a course developed by Karol Hess while I was living in New Jersey. She captured it in her book (referenced below).  I took the idea and expanded it, grounding it in scripture.

Below is the excerpted section from the book, complete with graphics. With the tools provided in this excerpt, managing difficult emotions will become much easier.

Enjoy!

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ETEB

In their book, Maturity is a Choice (1994, College Press) by Karol Hess and Doug McCulley, Hess, Director of Beacon Light Christian Ministries in Watchung, New Jersey, describes a useful model for recognizing and defeating irrational thinking and behaving. The model is based on Rational Emotive Therapy as developed by psychologist Albert Ellis. The model is also known by the initials ETEB representing the steps: Event, Thought, Emotion, Behavior.

As Hess states, “This diagram provides a practical means of mapping our thinking processes and seeing how they affect our feelings and behavioral patterns. It helps identify thought patterns and compare them to the truth, including the truth about God and the facts of any given situation.”

We’ve expanded and adapted the model here:




Stuff happens. Often we encounter situations that are unexpected and over which we have no control. Our only choice is to respond to them in Christian integrity. In the midst of these events, our emotions will be engaged and flare up automatically. These emotions can be positive or negative. In the midst of an event with our emotions on full flare up, we have two choices:
  • either we can react based on our perceptions and emotions, which means to react irrationally;
     
  • or we can choose to respond thoughtfully to the reality of the situation, with our minds and spirits fully engaged and under the control of the Holy Spirit and Truth.
Reacting irrationally will put us in an escalating “Loop of Irrationality,” where emotions, such as fear, guilt, arrogance, lust, or anger drive our behavior into irresponsible and damaging actions. These further feed our fear, guilt, arrogance, lust, anger, or other emotions which drives more improper behavior, and so on.

Responding thoughtfully will establish us firmly on the “Path of Peace,” where our minds, filled with God’s truth, seek a biblical and Christ-like, self-dying response where our actions are directed by the Holy Spirit. We focus on truth and not on emotions. As we walk out this truth, our emotions settle down and come in line as well.

For example, imagine that you’re at work and you’re working on completing a report that has an imminent deadline. The report is related to a project that’s very important to you involving material that you are fascinated by. You’re totally focused on your work and your back is turned away from the entrance to your cubicle. You’ve purposely blocked out all the ambient office noise, concentrating intently on your work. You’re in your own little world unaware of anything else around you.

Suddenly, without warning, someone has slipped into your cubicle behind you, dropping a binder down on your desk and saying loudly, “Here’s the report you were asking me about last week. Sorry it took me so long to find it!”

You have no control over this event, and your emotions--in the form of your heart in your throat--are fully engaged. Acting out of your emotions you likely would be enraged by the insensitivity of this co-worker who seems to be totally rude and bent on causing you to miss your deadline. If you were to follow through and react, you might yell at them for being a jerk, ordering them to get out of your cubicle immediately. They might then react by shouting back at you calling you a jerk, and so on, as you both huff and puff your way around the Loop of Irrationality.

The result would be a disrupted relationship, a disrupted workplace, and foothold made for Satan to create increasing hostility, hurt, and resentment.

However, taking a moment to think, you realize they are doing what you asked them to do (bringing you the report) and didn’t realize you were so focused. You know this person and you know them to be courteous and pleasant. They would never do anything intentionally to disrupt another’s success. You turn, put your hand over your heart, and say thanks. They realize what they’ve done and are profusely apologetic for startling you. You both have a small chuckle over the incident and everything is fine.

The reality is that they didn’t mean to startle you. However, your emotions are still engaged and your heart is still beating rapidly! Yet, you know there is nothing to be fearful of or angry about, and you turn back to your work. In a few minutes, your emotions and your thoughts are once again totally engaged in your project. All is well as you quietly travel the Path of Peace.

Using the table below, think of types of situations and events that you encounter at home, at work, at church, or somewhere else. Break down the elements of each event, and describe the emotions that you would feel, and the irrational and rational thoughts and behaviors that you might experience and respond with. Also list additional Scriptures that illustrate the truth of each step.


Satan loves to put situations before us that will enflame our emotions. He knows that the power of emotions--both good and bad--can overwhelm our reason and our faith and lead us into sinful and destructive behaviors. Whether we’re caught up by the seductive lie that it just feels so good it can’t be bad, or we’re lashing out in self-righteous anger to get even, acting out of emotions can be spiritual deadly.


Satan knows that our (E)motions can easily subvert the good intentions of our (M)ind and (W)ills. He will attempt to puff up our emotions and thus lead us into conflict, anger, hurt, disappointment, lust, addictions, and more. Only as we submit to the cross of Christ, crucifying the flesh, and bringing our (M)ind, (W)ill, and (E)motions into subjection to Him will be find the healthy balance we need to walk out our faith successfully.



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Do you believe you control your emotions or do your emotions control you? How do you experience this? What frustrates you the most about managing your emotions? How important is your faith in helping you deal with your emotions? Do the ideas in this post make sense to you? Are they helpful? Please share your thoughts in the comments!

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 Two useful books referenced above: 



Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Marriage has not been redefined by goats or cows or people & two more points to consider

Stuff has been happening in Morehead, Kentucky and now they have a new billboard to deal with.

As headlines about the new billboard tout, the point is to mock Kim Davis, the county clerk who has refused to issue marriage certificates to same-sex couples. She went to jail for standing on her beliefs.

I’m not going to comment on whether or not I agree or disagree with her actions. Here are some stories that take a look at the issue from different angles you can read if you’re interested and make up your own mind:
What I want to do is, briefly, address the fallacies contained in the billboard.

The billboard message reads: “Dear Kim Davis, the fact that you can’t sell your daughter for three goats and a cow means we’ve already redefined marriage.” It was put up by an organization called Planting Peace (www.plantingpeace.org).

At least one news article about the billboard states the message is “an apparent reference to biblical verses that permit the selling of women.”

There are at least three major issues with this billboard.

First, true marriage has not been redefined

The Bible is clear that a marriage is a marriage only when it is a uniting of one man (male) and one woman (female).

This reality was established from the beginning as stated in Genesis 1:27, NIV: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” This truth has been affirmed by millions of orthodox biblical Christians for centuries and still is.

While the definition of true marriage has not changed – and can never be changed – the cultural expression of marriage has shifted. This has almost always been true and is especially true now in the United States.

When man (meaning humankind which includes males and females) exercises his God-given freewill as a fallen, sinful creation, things tend to go awry. This, too, started in the beginning, in the Garden.

Even in Old Testament times – as reported in God’s Word but not endorsed by God – to the dismay of God, men took on several wives. Some would additionally maintain concubines – women that were available to them but not considered wives.

The idea of polygamy is found in a variety of cultures even today. The idea of same-sex marriage is relatively new. And now it is a legally defined option for the expression of marriage within the U.S.

But just because something is legal doesn’t mean it’s right, beneficial, ethical, or moral. Particularly for rationally-minded, biblically-grounded, true Christian believers.

That this is a true concept should not be a foreign idea to anyone who’s ever raised a conscious objection to something the law was endorsing.




Second, this is not a biblical reference

There is nothing in the Bible, as far as I can determine, defining marriage as selling one’s daughter for three goats and a cow to a husband. (If you think there is, please point out a specific reference in the comments.)

Perhaps this idea sprang from the practice of some cultures that offer a dowry to the bridegroom at the time of marriage. This is a cultural practice, not a biblical mandate.

In fact, the slogan – and it is only a trite slogan – has nothing to do with the Bible. You can read about how it came to be here: “From the Man Who Brought You Three Goats and a Cow”.

That the slogan is assumed to be taken from Scripture starkly reveals the widespread biblical illiteracy that impacts both Christians and non-Christians alike.

When reading the Bible, particularly the Old Testament, it’s important to, at a minimum, understand that just because something is in the Bible does not mean that it is a law or a mandate or an expectation related to living a Christian life.

The Bible contains stories, poetry, prophecy, revelation, history, and more, including reporting on the cultures of the day. There are many cultural practices that the Bible references that God was not happy with and condemned. He hates but tolerates a lot of wrong-headedness from his beloved creation.

What is revealed through the arc of Scripture, from Genesis to Revelation, is God’s incredible love for and patience with His hard-headed and rebellious freewill-obsessed creation as He reveals Himself and His grace.

Third, peace is not being planted

The name of the organization that put up the billboard – Planting Peace – implies a desire to be peacemakers with those who hold differing positions.

Their website declares: “Our mission is simple: Peace. Planting Peace is a global nonprofit organization founded for the purpose of spreading peace in a hurting world.”

I fail to see how mocking someone plants peace. Frankly, the billboard does nothing but stir up more dissension, inflict hurt, and encourage hate. It is a form of subtle and pointed persecution.

To get a better idea of what a peacemaker is, consider the context surrounding the term in Matthew 5. Or just take a very close look at the life of Jesus.

One thing I noticed about the confrontations of those demanding marriage licenses from Kim Davis in her office is that, while she seemed to always remain calm and respectful, those on the other side of the counter were loud, hostile, insulting, and belligerent toward her. Their anger and disdain for her was palpable, not peaceful.

In fact, articles began to pop up that disparaged her past, attacked her character, and essentially sought to defame her. The attacks were personal and vicious. Again, this is a form of persecution.

Even as she has gone back to work without blocking the marriage licenses her deputies are giving out to same-sex couples, she is still being heckled and insulted. She has entered into a compromise to do the very thing others demanded she do – her job – and yet those annoyed with her faith-based stand are still not satisfied. They don’t want compromise, they want her out. They want blood, not peace.

Kim Davis engaged in peaceful, non-violent civil disobedience (a practice that has been respected and cherished in this country since its founding) and was willing to bear the consequences of her actions (jail) while those disagreeing with her are engaged in non-peaceful, borderline violent, rabble-rousing character assassination.

In other words, while demanding to be treated with dignity and respect, they are denying dignity and respect to Kim, or anyone who supports her. The billboard adds further insult to her injury while adding nothing of value or substance to the debate.

This is all to be expected

For Christians, while what is happening around us is dismaying, it is not surprising. Jesus warned that life for His followers would be tough, saying that, eventually, “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death” (Matthew 1:21, NIV). Then he reminds us, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first” (John 15:18, NIV).

Paul cautioned, “The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons” (1 Timothy 4:1, NIV).

True believers are in for some rough times.

In the meantime, unlike those who oppose God and our faith in Him, following the example of Jesus and empowered by the Holy Spirit, we must love our enemies, extend them mercy, show them respect, treat them with dignity, provide for their needs, and cover them with prayer (see Luke 6:27-38, NIV).

We must do this even if they put up an insulting, inaccurate, in-our-face billboard right outside our front door.

After all, love wins.



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Is it possible to peacefully coexist with those with whom we disagree? Why or why not? If so, how can this be accomplished? Do you believe that faith is a “private thing” and should not influence one’s behavior in society? Why or why not? Please share your thoughts (respectfully) in the comments!!

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 Two useful books on the biblical view of homosexuality: 

Monday, September 14, 2015

Three Cat Poems (#PoetryMonday *)

Like an old Jew at the Wall

the cat sits
slightly swaying
praying
to the back of the couch
head bowed,
                  eyes closed
thankful for the cushions
upon which
she is about
to rest.

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What the Cat Knows

          The cat
comes up on the bed while I read
          and write a little,
sniffs at the inked lines
          in the notebook beside me,
smells the thoughts,
flicks her tongue tasting them,
          tentatively
places her front paws on the page,
crouches,
          as if she
feels the vibration of the thoughts,
looks at me,
          half
closes her eyes
          in acknowledgement,
knows,
purrs,
sleeps,
dreams.

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Sun Knocks

As the sun moves around the curve
of the southerly fall sky
it's reaching rays move from my
window to the front door
that pops as the heat warms
the core and metal skin
as if he is knocking to come in
before leaving the sky to
make room for the chasing moon.

The cats would like that;
his coming in to curl up with
them in whatever corner they
decided to sleep, warming
their unshed fur.






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* It's PoMo! To learn about PoMo (POetry MOnday), click here and then scroll down. 

Yes, I have two cats, Peanut and Shadow. They are sisters although you wouldn
t know it from looking at them or watching them. They’re 11 years old. Peanut was the smaller one as a kitten, but not now. Shadow tends to follow me around. While they once would snuggle up with each other, now, for unknown reasons, they hiss at each other when they pass too near. The first poem is about Peanut, the second about Shadow, and the third about both. Do you have cats? Prefer cats over dogs? Have a favorite poem about pets? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

This poem is included in this collection: